Kamis, 19 Januari 2017

Once I Fell

I know I fell. Now, I'm falling because of leaving my past job. I disagreed with my boss and everything that happened during working there was giving me hell. It wasn't easy living and realizing that I became someone I didn't want to be when I was there.

Yah... Dulu gampang banget aku marah, gampang banget tersinggung. Aku tertekan secara mental karena tidak merasa dihargai. That's why I was preparing to leave after being hired by another school music. Was it easy? No, I think it's harder and I have to find another job but I don't want to leave this job. Am I struggling? Yes. But, mentally I am healthier than I was. It's easy for to forgive. I had been treated bad before and then I became stronger.

So, although it is harder than before, I start to think the positive things I have right now. I'm still teaching piano. I still have some students. Well, and I'm still lucky enough to find beautiful and wonderful moments.

Being grateful is the thing I missed some months ago. I couldn't remember that I'm still blessed by having job with good income although mentally I fell. Because I know there are.some people who needs job. Am I regretting about leaving it? Sometimes yes but not much. There are things I still can do and I have time to do it now. Still, I pray that I don't have to do that but somehow I start to like it. But, I wish God would bless me about it. There was a novel I want to publish. But, I haven't finished it as a novel. I just finished it as a short story. Now perhaps, I have time to do that and not only focus in my current job.

Sometimes, I hate myself because the only thing popped into my mind is about me. I just want to share anything else. About music? It's still not in my mind in a complete article. Others? Well, I want to be sure that everything I share will be good for others.

But I do want to tell others to keep that grateful heart within bad times. We can't change our past. It's OK to regret but don't let it make your fall. Try to find many ways. I still try to find the right one for me. Don't forget to pray. It will help you one day.

PS. One of my weakness is if I write about what is in my heart, I will use English. Maaf, ya. Ini kekurangan aku. Entah kenapa jadi kayak gitu. Les Bahasa Inggris aja ga pernah... Bahkan cerita yang pingin kupublish itu pake bahasa Inggris dulu. Berabe sih... Jadi lebih suka ulang dengan berbagai hal baru yang dipelajari. N maaf kalau bahasa Inggrisnya tidak sempurna. Ga pernah les TOEFL atau sejenisnya.

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